Parent Education Materials and Resources

Adult with teen; holding hands; adult listening to teen


Show Me SEL - Division of Learning Services

The Division of Learning Services is committed to supporting educators in implementing effective, evidence-based practices in Missouri’s public schools with the goal of improved student learning for every student in every school. The Continuous Improvement System and its Theory of Action underscore the primary goal of DESE’s Show Me Success plan: All Missouri students will graduate ready for success.

Show Me SEL

Social Emotional Learning Modules

These modules will help parents explore methods and activities to help their children become career equipped, socially and emotionally engaged, lifelong learners. 

A full listing of competency resources can be found here.

Why do some high school graduates do well in college or the workplace while others do not? As families, how can we help our teens succeed? Education and business leaders are saying that intrapersonal (internal), interpersonal (social), and cognitive (academic) skills are all equally important for success in school and in life. To experience success, our teens need to develop all three types of these skills or competencies. 


Overview: Teaching Your Teen the Skills That Matter


Clip 1:
Empowering Youth


Empowering Youth to Become Socially and Emotionally Engaged, Career Equipped, Lifelong Learners

We want our children to be successful. Listen as Dr. Amy Gaumer Erickson, Associate Research Professor at the University of Kansas, discusses how we can help our children become career equipped, socially and emotionally engaged, lifelong learners.

College and Career Competency Wheel

10 Ways to Prepare Your Teens for College & Work

10 Ways to Build Interpersonal Competencies with Your Teen

10 Ways to Build Intrapersonal Competencies with Your Teen


Clip 2:
CCC Framework


The College and Career Competency (CCC) Framework

The 26 competencies on the wheel are skills people use daily to reach their goals, complete tasks, and interact with each other. Which competencies have been most important for you? It's likely that your use of these skills has led to success at work and in your personal relationships.

Clip 3:
Foundational Competencies

Foundational Competencies

As a parent, you may be wondering how to support social-emotional learning (SEL) at home. These six competencies provide a good place to start. 


To develop college and career competencies, teens need to practice these skills at home. The following are example strategies can be practiced at home to develop college and career competencies in your teen:

  1. Attach a copy of the competency wheel to your fridge and as you see your teen demonstrate an intra or interpersonal competency, give positive feedback by saying something like, "all the concepts on this wheel are skills that you will use in college or in a career - you just demonstrated this competency!" Give specific examples about how your teen's behavior illustrated the competency.

  2. Ask your teen to predict his or her grade on several exams. Then discuss with your teen the actual grade versus the predicted grade. Discuss why the prediction was successful or not successful. If your teen predicts a bad grade (such as "I'll be lucky if I get a C on..."), ask why he or she thinks that. For an upcoming project or test, ask your teen what success would look like. This helps build self-awareness and self-efficacy (the belief in your ability to achieve goals and meet expectations). 

  3. When your teen needs your help with issues like a broken phone, car repair, or navigating a purchase, let him or her take the lead and attempt to solve issues with as little support from you as possible. Encourage your teen to research issues online, ask for help, use active listening skills, and express questions and concerns throughout the process. Provide feedback to your teen on observed strengths and let him or her make mistakes as he or she attempts to solve the issue. This builds problem solving and assertiveness.

We want our children to become independent, lifelong learners who can set goals for themselves and complete important tasks. When children struggle with meeting deadlines, reaching goals, and taking ownership of their learning, they lack self-regulation. Self-regulation is a proactive, self-directed process for attaining goals, learning skills, managing emotional reactions, and accomplishing tasks. We can teach teens specific skills to support their ability to self-regulate.


Teaching Your Teen to Self-Regulate


Clip 1:


This video introduces the concept of self-regulation, clarifies the definition, and provides examples of self-regulation at home and at school.


Clip 2:

Impacts of Self-Regulation Instruction

Teens can apply self-regulation both in and out of school. As parents, we support self-regulation by talking to our teens about their goals and how they are going to progress toward them, helping them work through homework challenges, and talking with them about how to manage their emotional reactions. Listen as Dr. Amy Gaumer Erickson, Associate Research Professor at the University of Kansas, discusses some of the impacts of self-regulation, breaks down the definition, and shares the components necessary to successfully self-regulate.

Clip 3:
Izzy's Plan


Izzy Makes a Plan

Our goal is to have our children direct their own success. Let's explore the self-regulation process. In this video, you will hear from Izzy, a high school senior. She talks about how she created a plan to complete her online Physics homework.

Clip 4:
Monitor and Adjust


Izzy Monitors and Adjusts Her Plan

Izzy's plan included time management, organization of her assignments, and consideration of distractions that might derail her plan. Let's take another look as Izzy explains the difference between monitoring progress and monitoring actions.

Clip 5: 
Academic Success

Monitoring, Adjusting, and Reflecting for Academic Success

Izzy uses a checklist to monitor her assignment completion. She also reflected on her choices for breaks and adjusted her plan to include exercise as a break instead of snacking as she noticed it helped her be more productive. 

Izzy showed us one way to self-regulate homework completion. Dr. Gaumer Erickson shares another example of a checklist for self-regulating homework assignments.

Clip 6:


What Can I Do If I Encounter Obstacles?

As adults, we often encounter situations where things don't go as planned. When teens encounter setbacks to their plan, they find it difficult to persist. Dr. Gaumer Erickson describes three strategies to help your child overcome obstacles; mental contrasting, analyzing options, and implementation intentions. 

Self-Regulations Strategies

Next Steps


We want to support our children by coaching them rather than directing them. What questions would you ask your children to encourage them to proactively make detailed plans for success? What actions could they use to monitor their plans and determine if their plans are successful? Are your children able to anticipate what things might interrupt their plans? How could you make time to reflect with your teen? 

To get started, choose something to help your teen practice self-regulation. Here are a few ideas

  • Time on electronics
  • Responding calmly when feeling frustrated
  • Independent reading
  • Getting up for school on time
  • Getting homework done
  • Washing clothes for sport or job
  • Saving money to buy something

Remember that self-regulation is self-directed, so while you might ask questions and give advice, your child should create and work on the plan. Make time to ask about how the plan is going and whether adjustments have been needed. Help your teen reflect on what is going well and what isn't throughout the process of self-regulation.


“I’m just no good at this.” That’s probably a statement you’ve heard your teen say at least once, if not several times. It may have happened while solving word problems for math, while reading a complicated passage of text, or even while struggling to beat a level in a video game. Children sometimes doubt their ability to perform hard tasks. In those moments, they lack self-efficacy, which is an individual’s perceptions about his or her capabilities to perform at an expected level, achieve goals, and complete moderately challenging tasks. There are things we can do to help our children increase their self-efficacy.



Improving Your Teen’s Confidence and Perseverance: Building Self-Efficacy


Self-Efficacy (3:45)


This video introduces the concept of self-efficacy, its definition, and some examples of how to support your teen’s self-efficacy.


SE Family Module


When teens give up easily and don’t stick with things, it is probably because they lack self-efficacy in that situation. As parents, we want to help our children believe in their abilities and increase their self-confidence. Listen as Dr. Pattie Noonan, Associate Research Professor at the University of Kansas, explains self-efficacy, clarifies its definition, reviews the components, and discusses how we can apply these components at home.


Clip 1: Meet McKenzie  (3:04)

McKenzie Defines Self-Efficacy

Children who develop their self-efficacy reap many benefits. They have more confidence in their abilities, increased willingness to take on and persist in challenging tasks, and the ability to see mistakes and constructive criticism as opportunities to learn.

McKenzie, a high school senior, worked on raising her self-efficacy in several areas of her life, including academics, sports, and employment opportunities. Listen as she defines self-efficacy and explains the two components. Consider showing your teen this video and discussing the concepts.

Self-Efficacy Poster

Clip 2: Meet Izzy

Izzy Explains the Four Sources of Self-Efficacy

There are specific ways your child can increase his or her confidence when it’s lacking. Listen as Izzy, another high school senior, explains the four sources of self-efficacy (also known as four ways to increase your confidence).


Growing Your Mind (3:04)

A Kahn Academy Video

Izzy did a thorough job explaining the four sources of self-efficacy and giving specific examples of how she has used them to grow her confidence in things like managing her emotional reactions and improving her writing and swimming efforts. You might view this video with your teen and then discuss the concepts.  Later, remind them of the ways they can grow their confidence.

As a parent, it’s important to frame mistakes in a positive way, whether you or your children make them. We can help change mindsets about making mistakes and not understanding information right away by modeling positive reactions to mistakes. The following video explains the concept of neuroplasticity and how making mistakes helps to grow our brains. When you see your teen struggling with learning something new, refer to the content in this video.


Clip 3:


Ability Grows with Effort

We can create an environment in our homes that supports and reinforces the belief that ability grows with effort. Dr. Noonan explains how to support your child in understanding the concept that ability grows with effort through a list of expectations you might adopt and refer to regularly.


Clip 4:


The Power of "Yet"

Another way to focus on our effort and progress is to harness the power of the word, “yet.”  Watch as Dr. Noonan explains this powerful strategy for perseverance.


Clip 5: Mastery

Mastery Log

When we examine the component, focus on your effort, progress, and learning, several key points might be highlighted. The first is to focus on your effort. Many times, we look at others and see their success and think they must just be inherently “smart;” however, we need to remember that success comes with effort. Additionally, reminding ourselves of past accomplishments can increase our confidence in our abilities. Students can benefit from reflecting on accomplishments and the effort and progress involved in those accomplishments. Listen as Dr. Noonan explains how you might use a Mastery Log to help your teen focus on how effort and progress leads to learning. 


Clip 6: Progress (2:53)

Izzy Explains Mastery Log and Effort and Progress Tracker

Now let’s get Izzy’s ideas on how she uses the Mastery Log and how she focuses on effort and progress to help keep her self-efficacy high. Show this video to your teen and discuss the key concepts.


Clip 7:


Praise Research

All of us appreciate praise when we accomplish something that was difficult. However, listen as Dr. Noonan discusses some important things to keep in mind when praising your child’s effort and progress.


Next Steps


Now that you have learned about self-efficacy and how it can increase your child’s ability to persist through challenges, consider using the following steps to support your teen in understanding and developing self-efficacy.

1. Show the student videos explaining self-efficacy, the four sources, and the mastery log to your child and discuss the concepts. Refer to these concepts as the topics arise naturally. Share situations when your self-efficacy was low and how you worked to increase your self-efficacy through focusing on your effort and progress.

2. Use the Fixed Versus Growth Mindset Comparison Chart to explain to your child that intelligence is not fixed, but can be grown with effort. When your child tells you that he or she can’t do something or isn’t good at it, ask why they think that. Focus on your child’s past learning, and add the word “yet” to your child’s fixed mindset statements (for example, “I can’t do this—yet”).

3. Talk about the brain as a muscle that grows stronger with exercise. Statements like, “I know, I was never good at math,” or “Our family is good at a lot of things, but math isn’t one of them,” reinforce negative, fixed mindsets. However, reinforcing the concept that ability can grow builds self-efficacy, which helps your child take on and master challenges.

4. Show the Fixed Versus Growth Mindset video and discuss how mistakes help us learn and improve. Encourage your child to consider why mistakes are an important part of learning; ask them to think about specific challenges they are facing and discuss how a growth mindset could help.


Other resources for home learning are available on the website at

National Center on Educational Outcomes (NCEO) Videos

Videos produced as a collaboration between the National Center on Educational Outcomes (NCEO) and The TIES Center (Increasing TimeInstructional Effectiveness, Engagement, and State and District Support for Inclusive Practices) to help families learn ways to support the learning of their children with significant cognitive disabilities at home and have conversations with teachers to link home-schools supports. Each video focuses on three key questions: Why is it important to focus on this with my child at home? How can I do this at home? What support can I ask for from my child’s school? 

Parent Resource Links

Affordable Connectivity Program
The Affordable Connectivity Program (ACP) provides eligible households up to $30/month off internet bills (or $75/month on Tribal lands), as well as a one-time $100 discount off a laptop, tablet, or computer. To further lower costs, the Biden-Harris Administration secured commitments from internet service providers across the country to offer high-speed plans that are fully covered by the ACP – meaning millions of working families can now get high-speed internet without paying a dime.

Nearly 40 percent of U.S. households qualify for ACP, but millions of families have yet to claim their benefit. Households are eligible if they make up to 200 percent of the federal poverty level ($55,500 for a family of four), and are also eligible, regardless of income, if they participate in certain federal programs. Critically, households qualify for ACP – without regard to income – if any member of the household:

  • Participates in the Free and Reduced-Price School Lunch or Breakfast program, including a child who attends one of over 33,000 Community Eligibility Provision schools, or
  • is receiving a Pell Grant this school year.
  • Families also qualify if someone in the household participates in Medicaid, Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, WIC, Supplemental Security Income, and other programs.

As America’s kids get back to school and continue to recover from the challenges of the pandemic, ensuring that all families have access to affordable high-speed internet is more important than ever. That’s why we are writing to make sure you know about a new federal program available to the kids and families you serve: Millions of families can now get free, high-speed internet through the Affordable Connectivity Program by signing up at  

Compliance Guidance for Parents, Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE)

Facilitated Individualized Education Program, Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE)
Parents or school district staff may agree to conduct a facilitated IEP team meeting when both parties agree that it would be beneficial to have a neutral person assist the IEP team to efficiently and effectively address team concerns.  The neutral IEP facilitator helps to create an environment in which the IEP team members can listen to one another’s points of view.  The neutral IEP facilitator’s role is to assist the IEP team to work together to build consensus in developing an IEP that meets the student’s needs and is acceptable to both the parents and the school district.  This process is designed to be utilized when there is a sense from either of the parties that the issues at the IEP meeting may lead to significant disagreement or create an uncomfortable climate. IEP Facilitation is provided at no cost for IDEA-related cases and is requested through the Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education, Office of Special Education.

Learning Disabilities Association of America
Provides a wealth of information on understanding learning disabilities, negotiating the special education process and helping your child and yourself.

MO Guardianship: Understanding Your Options and Alternatives, UMKC Institute for Human Development
This resource guide addresses common concerns, myths, and misperceptions about guardianship. Since the importance of the least restrictive environment does not end with high school, it is important that the least restrictive form of decision making be considered for youth as they enter adulthood. The appendix, which starts on page 37, has easy to use charts and reference guides to help parents and students explore options to full guardianship.

National Center for Learning Disabilities (NCLD)
NCLD's goal is to help educators, policymakers, and parents understand the complexity and importance of making sound decisions regarding whether a child has a specific learning disability. Our research in this area—including studies of the role of and best practices associated with responsiveness to intervention—is the foundation underlying all of the materials available on this site. 
NCLD provides essential information to parents, professionals and individuals with learning disabilities, promotes research and programs to foster effective learning and advocates for policies to protect and strengthen educational rights and opportunities.

National Center on Secondary Education and Transition
NCSET coordinates national resources, offers technical assistance, and provides information related to secondary education (high school) and transition for youth with disabilities in order to create opportunities for youth to achieve successful futures.

The Sibling Support Project
The Sibling Support Project is a national effort dedicated to the life-long concerns of brothers and sisters of people who have special health, developmental, or mental health concerns.

Thompson Center, University of Missouri — Columbia
The Thompson Center for Autism and Neurodevelopmental Disorders at the University of Missouri — Columbia was established on April 29, 2005 to promote research, teaching, and service innovations designed to improve the lives of children with ASD and other neurological conditions. The center serves as a resource for families and professionals, providing help today through clinical services and hope for tomorrow through research and professional training.